Sunday, April 04, 2004
Patio Pundit
Deep thought of the day: "I don't have much room in my life for hatred, but man, I hate terrorists. The reason I thought of it is because I'm packing for a trip. I always remember how much I hate terrorists when I pack.

I used to keep a can opener and a Leatherman in my bag wherever I went. So if I needed to open a bottle of wine in Paris or to cut a tag off a new shirt in Nashville, I was ready. And yeah, it was comforting to know that in a pich I had a sharp knife with me. Now I can't even keep a nail clipper in my bag. In fact I just realized that I don't own a nail clipper right now.

My last nail clipper was confiscated by security at the airport in Denver. It was kind of funny because it was one of those souvenier nail clippers that I had bought once I cleared security in Dallas.

That's really why I support the war on terror -- I want my Leatherman back. And my nail clippers. And I want to be able to wear a belt on days that I travel. And to get to the airport at the last minute and still get on the flight. I'm fed up and pissed off.

So on that day ten years from now, when the last terrorist is running for his life, hiding in the last cave, wondering why we still hunt him two presidents later, even though the battle was won long ago. When he asks himself, 'why do they hate us?' I hope that the Marine chasing him yells at him, 'it's because of the nail clippers, you scum!'"

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