Skip to main content

Emeril vs. Cthulhu

by Fenris :
"But Emeril's worst crime against humanity tonight is the following unholy concoction. It's so bad, that if one were to compare fictional characters to foods, this would be Cthulhu's. It's the cooking equivalent in evilness to Lovecraft's Great Old Ones. I am appalled.

The Loathsome Thing vs Narylhotep

The world recoiled at the noisesome horror that was Narylhotep* as it strode the earth. Acrid clouds of smoke arose as its...'feet' touched the earth, poisoning the ground it touched forever. Narylhotep didn't notice as humans ran, evading it, they were less than ants beneath it's 'feet'. The squirming mass of tentacles that passed for a face suddenly turned in shock. It's head lifted, sniffing the air. Although this horror had existed since before the dawn of time, it smelled something new...and bad.

"BAM!" shrieked Emeril "BAM! LET'S KICK ID UP ANNADA NOTCH TA NATCHES UNKNOWN!" The greasy little man pranced out in front of the Elder Thing with a cart filled with covered platters. "LOOKID THIS" Emeril yelled in his nasal tones "I GODDA MEAL HEAH DAT'LL KNOCK YOUA SAHKS AFF!" (Emeril, never one to pass up mugging for an audience seemed unaware that Narylhotep didn't have feet, let alone socks.) Narylhotep felt...uneasy.

The hellchef reached over and removed the first cover. A greasy mass of what appeared to be deep-fried spaghetti wallowed in a yellow lake of grease. Clearly overcooked the blackened slimy mess seemed to ooze towards Narylhotep. For the first time since the dawn of creation, the Elder Thing backed away. ..........."

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

EELSTHEBAND.COM

NEWS : "The 40-year-old Mr. Everett was raised in McLean, Va., with his sister Elizabeth, mother Nancy and father Hugh Everett III, a quantum physicist who in 1957 proposed a formal theory of parallel universes known as 'The Many-Worlds Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics.' 'Everett's work has boggled minds inside and outside physics for more than four decades,' reported Scientific American in last month's issue. Mr. Everett said his brilliant father wasn't communicative at home. When I asked him what the conversation was like around the breakfast table, he replied, 'There wasn't any.' 'Physicists and geniuses don't always make great family men. I lived with him for 18 years and I learned more about him from the Internet.' Mr. Everett's family was a heartrending source of inspiration for his most notable work, the 1998 album 'Electro-Shock Blues' (DreamWorks), written after his sister committed suicide and h...

Digital Cam media safe to fly with

Technocrat.net : "Recent tests found no evidence of X-ray scanner damage to digital camera media cards or to the images they hold. The tests of scanner models currently in use in the U.S. transportation industry were jointly conducted by the International Imaging Industry Association (I3A), the leading global association for the imaging industry; SanDisk Corporation, a manufacturer of digital media cards; and the U.S. Transportation Security Administration (TSA). These findings mean that digital cameras and their image storage media can travel safely in either checked or carry-on bags, which will be reassuring to holiday travelers. And though they were not explicitly tested, it is likely that images on camera-phones will be safe in either situation as well. More care is needed for cameras with film, however, as the X-ray scanners for both checked and carry-on luggage can fog both developed and undeveloped film."

Artist turns animals into everyday objects

Ananova - A Chilean artist is making a name for herself with an exhibition in which stuffed animals are transformed into household objects. Artworks on display include a chick turned into a lamp, and 'sheep bag' - a lamb carcass fitted with handles. Artist Caterina Purdy says her exhibition at the Experimental Arts Centre in Santiago is intended to be humorous but also makes a serious point. She told Las Ultimas Noticias online: 'It is possible to see my work as something scary, but I find it beautiful. 'There is also irony and humour in my objects as well as a criticism of the way animals are treated by society.'"