misanthropic-bitch.com: "Last week, my uncle called an emergency family meeting to discuss my grandmother. Who doesn't bathe. Who doesn't follow her diet or properly administer her insulin injections. And who is slightly retarded.
This isn't a fact we often admit in public. No one wants to go on record as saying their gene pool contains a smelly, mentally deficient matriarch who isn't concerned when a needle breaks off in her ample supply of flesh.
Her apartment reeks, and with a building inspection on the horizon and because no one wants to take her in if she gets kicked out, we needed to devise a plan to get her to wash her pits (and other areas we'd rather not envision) and give away the mangy dog that pisses everywhere.
Before the words 'Clean your apartment, you pig' could escape our lips, the first words out of her mouth were: 'Who's going to drive me to vote on the 20th?'
Because, you see, my grandmother -- she of the double-digit IQ and poor hygiene -- votes. She goes to the polls. She makes a difference. She cares.
She cares about the Social Security check she receives each month, although she never worked a day her in life. She cares about prescription drug coverage for medications she has no clue how to take. She cares about voting down the school budget, even though taxpayers put her eight kids through school.
If you don't vote, you're letting a retarded senior citizen decide your future. And retarded senior citizens don't care if you can't get your freaky sex on."
This isn't a fact we often admit in public. No one wants to go on record as saying their gene pool contains a smelly, mentally deficient matriarch who isn't concerned when a needle breaks off in her ample supply of flesh.
Her apartment reeks, and with a building inspection on the horizon and because no one wants to take her in if she gets kicked out, we needed to devise a plan to get her to wash her pits (and other areas we'd rather not envision) and give away the mangy dog that pisses everywhere.
Before the words 'Clean your apartment, you pig' could escape our lips, the first words out of her mouth were: 'Who's going to drive me to vote on the 20th?'
Because, you see, my grandmother -- she of the double-digit IQ and poor hygiene -- votes. She goes to the polls. She makes a difference. She cares.
She cares about the Social Security check she receives each month, although she never worked a day her in life. She cares about prescription drug coverage for medications she has no clue how to take. She cares about voting down the school budget, even though taxpayers put her eight kids through school.
If you don't vote, you're letting a retarded senior citizen decide your future. And retarded senior citizens don't care if you can't get your freaky sex on."