Monday, May 31, 2004
DNA Sequencing: "But enough about zombies, now let's talk about bloodsucking parasites. We just renewed our liability insurance, and it's gone up again by like $4,000: it's now $50,000 a year! When we opened in 2001, we were paying $21,000/year. We've never filed a claim, but it doubled almost immediately after those Great White pigfuckers went and blew themselves up.
The wonderful new kink this time around is that now the insurance companies are offering 'terrorism insurance' for an additional charge. You can connect the dots on what that means, right? It means that if you file a claim, and the insurance company decides that, if they squint just right, it looks like 'terrorism', then they don't have to pay. And as we all know, here in These Uncertain Times, absolutely everything is considered terrorism. What do you want to bet that they'd consider someone getting maced to be terrorism? After all, it's a chemical weapon."