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Someone's gotta keep abreast of fashion: "It was a Monday afternoon when I finally caught up with Inspector 19, the worker whose inspection tag floated out of Janet Jackson's bustier at the Super Bowl Peep Show.

'You're looking mighty haggard, Inspector.'

'I've been on the run from the media, and now you found me.'

'You knew we'd find you eventually. Someone has to take responsibility, and we know Janet and Justin aren't to blame -- and it wasn't the fault of CBS, MTV or the NFL.

'Inspector, for days Justin Timberlake claimed the flashing incident was the result of wardrobe malfunction. Could you explain that term?'

'Sure,' the inspector says, rubbing his temples. 'Wardrobe malfunction is a death knell in my business, but the fact is, it happens. Despite the best materials and extensive testing, something goes wrong in a garment.'

'What do you think the problem was with Ms. Jackson's bustier?'

'Initially, I thought it was a testing problem, but I retrieved the records and am prepared to stand by my work. I'm not some novice. You don't get to be No. 19 without paying your dues. Before working for the stars, I was No. 289 over in men's briefs. You should see what we do to those waistbands. Anyway, the bustier had gone to the kennels a week before the show.'

'The kennels, Inspector?'

'Yeah, if the dogs can't rip a garment apart -- and they're large dogs, shepherds, Dobermans, rottweilers -- we figure it will hold for the female pop entertainers."

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