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Joelogon's Foolproof Guide to Making Any Woman Your Platonic Friend
NOTE: This guide examines so-called platonic friendships (that is, relationships of a purely non-sexual nature) between men and women. Specifically, it examines two closely related aspects of the platonic friendship:
  1. The tendency of women to develop close friendships with their male acquaintances, thereby pre-emptively eliminating any possibility of a romantic relationship, the result of which is to remove the poor schmuck's heart and shred it
  2. The process by which attractive and otherwise eligible women, when faced by proffered declarations of romantic interest by a male acquaintance, destroy the ego and spirit of said acquaintance by declaring that they only want to be "friends."

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